[Pfft, says Kate, rolling her eyes as she scritches Lucky behind the ear.]
Wow, I hate to break this to you, but Tang isn't part of a balanced breakfast on this side of the multiverse. Your struggle is about to start all over again.
[And he turns back around upright. He's not even showing off, really; he just missed being able to do this.]
At least being orange is what I am. You can't fight DNA. The both of you went and dug your monochrome grave together. What's purple got to do with archery? Or hawks?
All I've had for the past couple months are water and the occasional lukewarm coffee. I'll take all the radioactive sugar water I can get, but if you get me real apple juice I'll love you forever.
[You have no idea how much he missed apple juice, Kate. None at all.]
You two are the ones who picked it. I got turned orange when I turned into this. I'm asking what your excuse is for looking like color coded cartoon characters all the time, and don't tell me the branding thing.
[It doesn't even take a full second before he bursts out laughing. Least of his worries isn't kidding, and his laughter builds the more he looks at it. It is completely, uniquely terrible, and it may not be purple, but it doesn't need to be.]
He looks like a Greek gladiator got lost at a leather daddy convention and waxed his chest somewhere in the middle. His name's Athrilles and all he needs is someone to wrestle to submission in the arena of his heart. Oh, he tries to put on the tough guy act, but everyone knows he's the sensitive kind. Don't look at my shoulders whispers his spandex mask-cowl combo. The bolted on leather straps say I'm having a bad nipple day. But you can tell he's proud of his thighs.
[The whole thing is delivered through a net of snickers and giggles.]
[Don't test him, Kate. He's terrible when he gets going. As it stands, Clint's godawful costume choices might just kill him off before he gets the chance. The next look sends him into a whole new fit.]
Jegus, that's—that's a goddamn work of art.
[It takes him a moment to gather his voice.]
Someone must have taken pity and told him what hawks are eventually, because that's straight up Robin Hood. Your whole superhero league, was it always the Avengers? Or was it the band of merry men back then?
You're the one from this world. Between us, it's you who's got a shot of knowing the history. But you're gonna have to work if you want to shimmy up the ladder to the better Hawkeye slot. He and I have got history now. Alaskan history. Frozen bullshit nuclear wasteland history.
[His demeanor sobers too at that, and his arms end up settled against his tail as one might with their thighs.]
There used to be a ton of guides I could have shown you, but it's kind of hard to access that network from another universe.
What happened is we got brought to this town called Norfinbury, Alaska, some year in the future compared to what we're from. I'm from 2009, by the way. There were other people, too. Do you know Natasha Romanov? She was one. But other people from other worlds besides ours too, not all of them with Earths. And this town was pretty heavily destroyed after some nuclear attack for bullshit reasons, so we were basically all stuck trying to survive while got fed clues piece by piece from the assholes running everything.
People died sometimes, got revived missing senses or memories temporarily. There were nanomachines in our blood to keep us from dying of radiation, but the trade off meant other side effects, altered perceptions, having our heads messed with... Monsters called anomalies could show up and grab you if you were traveling. If you didn't get inside before lockdown each night, exposure would kill you from how cold it got.
[He doesn't know why Clint hasn't told her, and he may ask him later, but he won't blame him for struggling. He may have said serious shit like a joke, but he meant it. It's exactly why he joked so hard. Everything's been so serious so long that he needs the lighter stuff to remind him it's over.]
[He lets out a slow exhale, and by now he's more staring aimlessly into the middle distance beyond the couch than at her or anything else.]
There were a bunch of these 'sessions' before us, and a whole lot of complicated shit about who was running it and what was really going on. The whole town was some weird project, I guess, shaped like a spiral that we had to find the center of. And after that, we got to go—
[He almost says home, and he means for this Earth to become it, but it's not where he comes from.]
[It comes out soft, more of an exhalation than anything else.
Of course Clint doesn't want to talk about it, especially not after being debriefed by SHIELD on it endlessly like he has been, but... It still drives Kate crazy that this is just another example of Clint shutting her out when things get hard, even though they're supposed to help each other, as partners or friends or Hawkeyes or... whatever. That's just strengthened Kate's resolve to park herself here until he shows up, even if she dies of old age.
Kate just keeps scratching behind Lucky's ears, biting her lip as she tries to figure out what to say. She just met this kid literally ten minutes ago, and she has about a million questions, not least of all why he decided to come here instead of going home, but she zips it.
So, out comes the sincere Kate that America hates, her voice going quiet.]
[Davesprite snorts. He's had his time to be horrified and get used to it in turn, and while he has gotten better about dealing with his emotions, she's not the one to foist it on. He drops back to light and flippant.]
It's warm and the fridge has food in it. That bar's been cleared already.
[ He's surprised that SHIELD lets him go home, honestly, but - look, maybe it's the fact that he looks like hell, or that he's fallen asleep standing up, sitting up, in any position they put him in multiple times in the last few hours. He's exhausted, hasn't had much of a break since he got back, and he really just wants to go home, to his nice, warm bed, and sleep the rest of Norfinbury away.
Maybe call Natasha. Tony. See if they remember any of this. They were so far behind, timeline-wise. First, though, maybe he should tell Kate. God, it's been - a long time, it feels like. Months? Weeks? Time blurred together in Alaska. Felt like years.
Clint slouches into his apartment, finally, slamming the door behind him with a loud: ] I'm officially going into hiding. I don't like the spy life but if it means I don't ever gotta listen to some stupid SHIELD agent tell me Hill is gonna be by any second to grill me about Alaska ever again, I'll -- oh.
[Lucky has a much more enthusiastic reaction than Kate does—he bounds over, all lolling tongue and wagging tail. Kate is still upset with him, so she just raises her eyebrows. Don't "hey Katie" her!]
You mean this isn't already you "going into hiding"?
[Clint finds an oddly good moment to return at. They've hit a lull just after he's dropped the heavy deets, and who better to show up than the other guy it concerns? He perks first at the door, and then there's the tired rumbling that's become familiar and welcome to his ears across his stay in Norfinbury.]
[But it does bring up another point, which Kate supplements.]
How come you didn't tell Hawklady here about the new bird-shaped tumor in your life, huh? Have you even told SHIELD yet? You know they're probably gonna make you drag me in, too, once you bring me up.
[ Clint opens his mouth - only Lucky comes bounding across the apartment and he totally loses all trains of thought, hello, yes. Hold on. He has to say hello to his dog, which he does, dropping all his stuff to flop down on the floor and throw his arms around Lucky, smothering him in kisses and pets.
God, he didn't realize how much he missed Lucky until he sees him right this instant. This is probably gonna look really bad. ]
[Oh, good. Kate goes from irritated to furious in about .5 seconds, partially because he always does this and partially because she thought he was dead, and she was worried sick and now he won't even talk to her.
So Kate stands up, bristling, and she might be just on this side of yelling.]
Are you serious? Did you forget I have a key, or were you just hoping I'd trip over your new roomie so he could give me the rundown on what happened because you couldn't be bothered to? Do you know how many stupid messages I left on your stupid phone?
[Davesprite's mouth presses to a line when Clint lets Lucky take his attention instead, though he's not exactly surprised. There's a kind of comfort that's hard to describe in the things more familiar, and Clint gets far more of it from his apartment than Davesprite in being on Earth again.]
[So, it falls rather to Kate to take that slack of the moment. His eyebrows go up, his hands almost placating—but she does have a point, doesn't she? She ought to have been told. Clint has people left.]
[He sidles off the couch slowly, moving as if he might just head to the kitchen for now. He can let them talk for the moment, maybe, if they let him go, and maybe steal something out of a cupboard to munch.]
[ Whoa, whoa! Kate, please, don't yell at him, he was going to explain himself. He actually looks surprised when Kate scolds him. Davesprite is probably doing the right thing by slowly getting out of the line of fire, honestly.
Clint pushes Lucky down and away from jump-licking his face, expression a little uncertain. ]
No, I - I haven't had a chance to charge my phone! [ He's not even sure where it is. With his Norfinbury stuff, probably. ] I've barely even been home, Kate, I haven't had time to sleep, let alone call you.
[ Look at his scruffy hobo beard. It is proof. ] DS is staying here because he has nowhere else to go and because I had to tell SHIELD about him, I wasn't trying to... Kate, there's just been a lot going on.
[Poor Davesprite. Kate doesn't even pay attention when he scoots out of view and... really, some of Clint's explanations are valid. Kate knows how SHIELD gets, so even if he didn't handle this in a great way, it wasn't entirely his fault. But she's angry, and she gets tunnel vision when she's angry, so she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.]
So there isn't a phone anywhere on the SHIELD helicarrier? You didn't have two seconds? I had to find out you were back from Natasha! Saying "hey, Kate, I'm okay" is too monumental of a task, I guess.
[Yeeep, he's gonna chill out in here for the moment. He can hear them just fine while he picks through the cupboards. How does Clint get by though, honestly? There's hardly anything snackable, much less real food-ish.]
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Wow, I hate to break this to you, but Tang isn't part of a balanced breakfast on this side of the multiverse. Your struggle is about to start all over again.
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[And he turns back around upright. He's not even showing off, really; he just missed being able to do this.]
At least being orange is what I am. You can't fight DNA. The both of you went and dug your monochrome grave together. What's purple got to do with archery? Or hawks?
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[But hey, she's smiling!]
Why does purple need to have anything to do with archery?
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[You have no idea how much he missed apple juice, Kate. None at all.]
You two are the ones who picked it. I got turned orange when I turned into this. I'm asking what your excuse is for looking like color coded cartoon characters all the time, and don't tell me the branding thing.
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[And she totally will.]
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I've been waiting for this day since he told me there was a helmet.
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The helmet is the least of your worries.
[She's pulling up the Goliath look first, and shoving the phone in Davesprite's face. Sorry, Clint.]
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He looks like a Greek gladiator got lost at a leather daddy convention and waxed his chest somewhere in the middle. His name's Athrilles and all he needs is someone to wrestle to submission in the arena of his heart. Oh, he tries to put on the tough guy act, but everyone knows he's the sensitive kind. Don't look at my shoulders whispers his spandex mask-cowl combo. The bolted on leather straps say I'm having a bad nipple day. But you can tell he's proud of his thighs.
[The whole thing is delivered through a net of snickers and giggles.]
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[Kate is cracking up herself, making such a disgusted face.]
The abs were bad enough. I don't need the daddy jokes too, ugh.
[Traumatizing. She's still giggling as she pulls up the next beauty.]
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[Don't test him, Kate. He's terrible when he gets going. As it stands, Clint's godawful costume choices might just kill him off before he gets the chance. The next look sends him into a whole new fit.]
Jegus, that's—that's a goddamn work of art.
[It takes him a moment to gather his voice.]
Someone must have taken pity and told him what hawks are eventually, because that's straight up Robin Hood. Your whole superhero league, was it always the Avengers? Or was it the band of merry men back then?
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[Jeez, Davesprite!]
And I'm not an Avenger. Not... technically. But this is why people call me the better Hawkeye. I don't wear cocktail dresses when I'm superhero-ing.
[Usually.]
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You're the one from this world. Between us, it's you who's got a shot of knowing the history. But you're gonna have to work if you want to shimmy up the ladder to the better Hawkeye slot. He and I have got history now. Alaskan history. Frozen bullshit nuclear wasteland history.
[Calmly, he adjusts his shades.]
It's serious shit.
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What happened? Clint keeps dipping out every time I see him.
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There used to be a ton of guides I could have shown you, but it's kind of hard to access that network from another universe.
What happened is we got brought to this town called Norfinbury, Alaska, some year in the future compared to what we're from. I'm from 2009, by the way. There were other people, too. Do you know Natasha Romanov? She was one. But other people from other worlds besides ours too, not all of them with Earths. And this town was pretty heavily destroyed after some nuclear attack for bullshit reasons, so we were basically all stuck trying to survive while got fed clues piece by piece from the assholes running everything.
People died sometimes, got revived missing senses or memories temporarily. There were nanomachines in our blood to keep us from dying of radiation, but the trade off meant other side effects, altered perceptions, having our heads messed with... Monsters called anomalies could show up and grab you if you were traveling. If you didn't get inside before lockdown each night, exposure would kill you from how cold it got.
[He doesn't know why Clint hasn't told her, and he may ask him later, but he won't blame him for struggling. He may have said serious shit like a joke, but he meant it. It's exactly why he joked so hard. Everything's been so serious so long that he needs the lighter stuff to remind him it's over.]
[He lets out a slow exhale, and by now he's more staring aimlessly into the middle distance beyond the couch than at her or anything else.]
There were a bunch of these 'sessions' before us, and a whole lot of complicated shit about who was running it and what was really going on. The whole town was some weird project, I guess, shaped like a spiral that we had to find the center of. And after that, we got to go—
[He almost says home, and he means for this Earth to become it, but it's not where he comes from.]
—Out. Elsewhere. And I decided to come here.
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[It comes out soft, more of an exhalation than anything else.
Of course Clint doesn't want to talk about it, especially not after being debriefed by SHIELD on it endlessly like he has been, but... It still drives Kate crazy that this is just another example of Clint shutting her out when things get hard, even though they're supposed to help each other, as partners or friends or Hawkeyes or... whatever. That's just strengthened Kate's resolve to park herself here until he shows up, even if she dies of old age.
Kate just keeps scratching behind Lucky's ears, biting her lip as she tries to figure out what to say. She just met this kid literally ten minutes ago, and she has about a million questions, not least of all why he decided to come here instead of going home, but she zips it.
So, out comes the sincere Kate that America hates, her voice going quiet.]
I'm sorry. It'll be better here.
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It's warm and the fridge has food in it. That bar's been cleared already.
casually kicks the door in here
Maybe call Natasha. Tony. See if they remember any of this. They were so far behind, timeline-wise. First, though, maybe he should tell Kate. God, it's been - a long time, it feels like. Months? Weeks? Time blurred together in Alaska. Felt like years.
Clint slouches into his apartment, finally, slamming the door behind him with a loud: ] I'm officially going into hiding. I don't like the spy life but if it means I don't ever gotta listen to some stupid SHIELD agent tell me Hill is gonna be by any second to grill me about Alaska ever again, I'll -- oh.
[ Clint blinks. Rubs at his neck. ] Hey, Katie.
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You mean this isn't already you "going into hiding"?
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[But it does bring up another point, which Kate supplements.]
How come you didn't tell Hawklady here about the new bird-shaped tumor in your life, huh? Have you even told SHIELD yet? You know they're probably gonna make you drag me in, too, once you bring me up.
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God, he didn't realize how much he missed Lucky until he sees him right this instant. This is probably gonna look really bad. ]
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So Kate stands up, bristling, and she might be just on this side of yelling.]
Are you serious? Did you forget I have a key, or were you just hoping I'd trip over your new roomie so he could give me the rundown on what happened because you couldn't be bothered to? Do you know how many stupid messages I left on your stupid phone?
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[So, it falls rather to Kate to take that slack of the moment. His eyebrows go up, his hands almost placating—but she does have a point, doesn't she? She ought to have been told. Clint has people left.]
[He sidles off the couch slowly, moving as if he might just head to the kitchen for now. He can let them talk for the moment, maybe, if they let him go, and maybe steal something out of a cupboard to munch.]
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Clint pushes Lucky down and away from jump-licking his face, expression a little uncertain. ]
No, I - I haven't had a chance to charge my phone! [ He's not even sure where it is. With his Norfinbury stuff, probably. ] I've barely even been home, Kate, I haven't had time to sleep, let alone call you.
[ Look at his scruffy hobo beard. It is proof. ] DS is staying here because he has nowhere else to go and because I had to tell SHIELD about him, I wasn't trying to... Kate, there's just been a lot going on.
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So there isn't a phone anywhere on the SHIELD helicarrier? You didn't have two seconds? I had to find out you were back from Natasha! Saying "hey, Kate, I'm okay" is too monumental of a task, I guess.
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I want to give him obsession for collecting eggs someday you're welcome
oh my god laughs
DAVESPRITE PLS
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I am sorry for this boy
noogies him
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