[Davesprite's mouth presses to a line when Clint lets Lucky take his attention instead, though he's not exactly surprised. There's a kind of comfort that's hard to describe in the things more familiar, and Clint gets far more of it from his apartment than Davesprite in being on Earth again.]
[So, it falls rather to Kate to take that slack of the moment. His eyebrows go up, his hands almost placating—but she does have a point, doesn't she? She ought to have been told. Clint has people left.]
[He sidles off the couch slowly, moving as if he might just head to the kitchen for now. He can let them talk for the moment, maybe, if they let him go, and maybe steal something out of a cupboard to munch.]
[ Whoa, whoa! Kate, please, don't yell at him, he was going to explain himself. He actually looks surprised when Kate scolds him. Davesprite is probably doing the right thing by slowly getting out of the line of fire, honestly.
Clint pushes Lucky down and away from jump-licking his face, expression a little uncertain. ]
No, I - I haven't had a chance to charge my phone! [ He's not even sure where it is. With his Norfinbury stuff, probably. ] I've barely even been home, Kate, I haven't had time to sleep, let alone call you.
[ Look at his scruffy hobo beard. It is proof. ] DS is staying here because he has nowhere else to go and because I had to tell SHIELD about him, I wasn't trying to... Kate, there's just been a lot going on.
[Poor Davesprite. Kate doesn't even pay attention when he scoots out of view and... really, some of Clint's explanations are valid. Kate knows how SHIELD gets, so even if he didn't handle this in a great way, it wasn't entirely his fault. But she's angry, and she gets tunnel vision when she's angry, so she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.]
So there isn't a phone anywhere on the SHIELD helicarrier? You didn't have two seconds? I had to find out you were back from Natasha! Saying "hey, Kate, I'm okay" is too monumental of a task, I guess.
[Yeeep, he's gonna chill out in here for the moment. He can hear them just fine while he picks through the cupboards. How does Clint get by though, honestly? There's hardly anything snackable, much less real food-ish.]
[ There is pretty much ramen. Kate might have brought something with her to the apartment recently, but Clint has no idea what's even still good in there. Mostly he lives off take-out. ]
I told her to say something! And what, you think SHIELD is just gonna let me do some sort of courtesy call? I told everybody who came to see me on the helicarrier that they should let you know I was back, you can't yell at me for this!
[She definitely wasn't given that privilege, and that only makes her more upset.]
No one even told me what happened. Just that you were back, and you'd explain, and something about Alaska and alternate universes and... Ugh!
[Kate actually throws her hands up in the air, because she doesn't actually think she's going to get through to him with this.]
We all thought you were dead!
[And that's her voice breaking just a little bit, to her further frustration. She doesn't want to have this conversation with Davesprite listening in, but who the hell knows when Clint will grace her with his presence again.]
[It's only so long before Davesprite has to give up, accept the shitty offerings available, and drift back toward the living room. There's only so long you can float around a kitchen pretending you've got something to do in there when, really, you don't.]
[So he sidles back in, awkward, looking uncomfortable as anything while he gnaws on what is clearly an unboiled block of ramen noodles. He has dusted some of the seasoning packet over its mass, but it tastes a lot like sodium and cardboard all together.]
Hey, uh—
[Cough.]
I know this probably ain't the time? But for a dude who got on me about Bro so much, your kitchen sucks, Clint.
[Maybe he can diffuse this tension with something stupid. He hopes.]
[ Clint doesn't know quite what to say, here. He kind of looks at Kate hopelessly, like she's totally stumped him, and then drags himself up to his feet. Lucky lets out a low borf and flops out, watching them, and Clint closes the distance between him and Kate. He carefully rests his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. ]
I'm not dead. You can't get rid of me that easily. [ A beat, and then he frowns. ] ... I'm sorry, Katie.
[ And then - Davesprite. There's a beat, where Clint looks up to see Davesprite just... chewing on a noodle block, to which Clint just tries to not laugh because what. Are you doing. That's not how you ramen. Not that Clint is surprised he doesn't know how. ]
I - uh. Didn't exactly have time to grocery shop while I was in snow hell, DS.
[She's still upset, but the acknowledgement helps, at least. Kate almost hugs him, or at least considers it, but then the moment goes on a bit too long and the opportunity is gone and she just looks away instead, taking a step back when his attention turns to Davesprite.]
Ugh, don't eat that. You'll probably get cancer or something.
[Davesprite shrugs broadly at them and crunches another bit of ramen block.]
I wasn't raised to make noodles right. I do what I can.
[He glances back at them—the noodles, then Clint and Kate.]
So, everything's kind of complicated, right? And you're tired, and you're worried, and neither of you have really got the chance to sit the fuck down and learn everything, and that part with me didn't count because I only scratched the surface and joked about Clint's terrible taste in costumes. I'm sayin' both of you, you've got a lot of shit on your minds, right? We've been back like two days, maybe. It'll settle. I'll find furniture to push Clint off of if he keeps being dumb, but maybe for now we can just—sit down, order a pizza, talk a little, then sleep like the dead.
I'm gonna have to teach you how to make noodles 'cause that's. Painful. [ Clint says absently, staring at said noodles. Sorry, he's zoning out here. A beat, and he shakes his head, letting go of Kate after a second. ]
I just want to put on sweatpants. [ He says, rubbing at his face. ] Maybe shave. Take a shower. Can you guys order pizza and I'll - I can talk about whatever you want me to talk about, Kate, promise. DS will help.
[And with Kate giving in, he pops a thumbs up to Clint.]
Go wash the Alaska off, dude.
[He already took a good, long shower himself earlier. For now... He looks at the noodles again, then goes to find the trash to dump them in. This was a mistake.]
[ Unfortunately - or maybe fortunately, who knows - Clint decides he is going to take a shower for like half an hour. The warm water, the steady pressure - the fact that he gets to shave? It's glorious. He wants to sleep in this shower. Maybe live in the shower. That'd be so fine with him.
Eventually he gets out. He puts on clean clothes, and drags himself down the stairs. Slowly. He looks a hell of a lot better, but he's still kind of haggard, definitely thinner than he used to be. His movements carry kind of sickly tired that comes from a remembered chronic pain and from malnutrition. Life sucked in Norfinbury.
[So Kate orders pizza. Pizzas, technically. She's totally broke since the whole being disowned thing, but Clint is buying anyway, so she gets the grossest, most over the top kinds she can, and by the time Clint is done with his shower, they're sitting on the kitchen counter and Kate is getting out plates for all of them. She took care of the place while he was gone, at least, out of hope that he'd be coming back, so everything is pretty much clean and tidy. Far cleaner than he left it, for sure.
Kate's taking pineapple herself, trying to ignore how different Clint looks and moves as she hands Davesprite a plate.]
Don't let Clint eat all of it, because he totally will.
I know how to demolish a pizza, Kate. I'm like 17 by now and I just spent however long surviving off frozen rations. I was made for this day.
[He loads a couple slices of meat lover's onto his plate. Maybe he will eat one with a vegetable on it, too, if they bug him enough, but right now he wants to indulge.]
[Seeing Clint return, though, he gives him a once-over and nods.]
Looking better. Still crap, but better. We'll get there.
[He didn't get hit with pain the same way Clint did, but Norfinbury took its toll regardless. Floating makes the state of himself easier to work around.]
[ Clint is totally okay with Kate ordering whatever she wants. His house is her house, and Davesprite's, too, now. He's got the money to be able to make sure they don't have to want for anything, honestly.
Davesprite tells him he looks like crap, and Clint snorts, dropping down heavily on a bar stool. He's still kind of marveling at the fact that he can get up and hold things without wanting to die inside, it's - great. Clint takes like half a pizza for himself, raising his eyebrows at Kate like he's daring her to stop him. ]
I'm gonna eat all this pizza because I paid for it. [ He's teasing. ] DS is right, though, we just came from a place where frozen fruit was a delicacy. [ A beat, and then offhand at Davesprite: ] Nothing left over from the town, right? None of the side-effects?
[Kate doesn't try to stop him, but she does reach over the counter to pick a slice of pepperoni off of his pizza and pop it in her mouth. Just to be a brat.
She's feeling out of the loop here already, though, so she looks between them as she feeds Lucky a bit of pineapple. Davesprite mentioned the side-effects, but he didn't exactly go into detail, so this is where Kate begins her endless grilling.]
What side-effects? You said they were from nanomachines, but... [She waves a hand vaguely. That doesn't tell her much.]
I want to give him obsession for collecting eggs someday you're welcome
[Sorry, you expected words? He's busy chewing through a probably too large bite of cheese and protein shapes and it is glorious. He makes a sound kind of like a dying whale that is simultaneously in a bad porno. If either of them expected him not to enjoy the experience of pizza this much, they are fooling themselves.]
[Once he's chewed thoroughly and swallowed, though—]
I said the nanomachines were because of the radiation, right? But they also poisoned us in ways that affected our brains somehow. So, if you mean have I stopped feeling like my dead Bro is following me through locked doors and creeping up in the ceilings and shit, yeah, that's gone. But you might want to get me a pack of Easter eggs to see if I'm still obsessed with those.
[He might just sit on them anyway. Bird instincts, man. The crow he was made with wasn't very smart.]
[ Clint lets Davesprite explain as he proceeds to shove a piece of pizza into his mouth. Like almost an entire piece. Chewing it is a task, but he doesn't care, he's up to it. It's been so long since he's had it, god. He still takes the time to bat at Kate's hand when she steals a pepperoni, but it's playful. ]
I think I've actually got a package of those in my closet. [ Clint says thoughtfully. He'd bought them for Simone's kids a while back. As for the rest of it, he gives Davesprite a thumbs up. Which he couldn't do in Norfinbury. ]
I can move without feeling like tiny gremlins are biting all of my joints and beating up my bones with hammers so - yeah, looks like it's gone. [ He sounds so, so relieved. Clint glances at Kate. ] Nanomachines came with terrible side effects, who would've guessed. They're not in my blood anymore, though. SHIELD checked.
[God, Clint. Kate's not sure if she's ready for a ridiculous bird brother, and yet here she is. She raises her eyebrows at Davesprite's whale imitation, but her expression sobers when he continues. They're both being pretty flippant about this, and admittedly she kind of expects that from Clint, but...]
Did you figure out who brought you there and why? Are you both okay?
[His closet? Davesprite's posture visibly perks up, but—nah, they can wait. He's got pizza. He crams another bite of it into his face hole, but still gives Clint an enthusiastic thumbs up in return the one he makes. It's pretty great to see him move his hand so freely.]
[But is he okay?]
I'm not dead or an anomaly or brainfucked by degrading nanowhatever. Get me some Flinstones vitamins and teach me how a kitchen is supposed to work, and I'll probably kick malnutrition's ass pretty quick.
[He'll let Clint handle the who and why, for however much answer they got to that. Instead he asks him his own question.]
D'you think SHIELD could check mine too? Though they probably would want to anyway. Not every day you get an orange bird guy with glowstick blood from an alternate dead universe showing up.
You should ask Natasha about the who and why, Kate. [ Clint says, pausing in his quest to devour as much pizza as possible in one sitting. Natasha paid more attention, knew the ins and outs, and it's easier for her to give mission briefings. Clint doesn't want to talk about Miller or Eve. He wipes his mouth with his hand with no measure of grace whatsoever. ] But we're okay. Promise.
It'll be even better once we show DS what goes in a fridge. [ It's not swords. Surprise! Clint wipes the grease on his hands on his sweatpants like an animal and rests a hand on Kate's forearm. ] I accidentally adopted him, so now you gotta help me raise him.
[ He's teasing! Mostly. Please help. To Davesprite: ] Yeah. Part of the deal for me getting to go home was me bringing you in to make sure you're all good to go. I already said I'm responsible for you so they're not gonna throw a fit. Probably.
You can meet everybody else, too. Cap's gonna want to give you an inspiring speech or something.
Nope. [Kate glances over her shoulder at Davesprite.] Sorry, Dave. I'm only like two years older than you, anyway. We're not pulling some weird Woody Allen thing.
[Joking is fine. She can do joking. She's not really touching her pizza, though.]
Hey, I know food is supposed to go in a fridge. [Beat.] Just not sure which food.
[Media told him some things, but not everything. As for Kate?]
Of course you're not adopting me. I only just met you and you're not old enough to be my hot mom. Any mom. You're a hot non-mom. Clint, steal her pizza she's not eating it and pineapple is for sad people.
[He grabs a couple more slices of whatever non-befruited food punishment is left and floats up to perch on top of the fridge. Around a mouthful of cheesy bread dinner:]
Hey, tell me about Cap. [He swallows.] And how many times do you think I'll have to explain to them about Sburb?
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[So, it falls rather to Kate to take that slack of the moment. His eyebrows go up, his hands almost placating—but she does have a point, doesn't she? She ought to have been told. Clint has people left.]
[He sidles off the couch slowly, moving as if he might just head to the kitchen for now. He can let them talk for the moment, maybe, if they let him go, and maybe steal something out of a cupboard to munch.]
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Clint pushes Lucky down and away from jump-licking his face, expression a little uncertain. ]
No, I - I haven't had a chance to charge my phone! [ He's not even sure where it is. With his Norfinbury stuff, probably. ] I've barely even been home, Kate, I haven't had time to sleep, let alone call you.
[ Look at his scruffy hobo beard. It is proof. ] DS is staying here because he has nowhere else to go and because I had to tell SHIELD about him, I wasn't trying to... Kate, there's just been a lot going on.
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So there isn't a phone anywhere on the SHIELD helicarrier? You didn't have two seconds? I had to find out you were back from Natasha! Saying "hey, Kate, I'm okay" is too monumental of a task, I guess.
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I told her to say something! And what, you think SHIELD is just gonna let me do some sort of courtesy call? I told everybody who came to see me on the helicarrier that they should let you know I was back, you can't yell at me for this!
[ Poor Davesprite. ]
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"Everyone who came to see you"?
[She definitely wasn't given that privilege, and that only makes her more upset.]
No one even told me what happened. Just that you were back, and you'd explain, and something about Alaska and alternate universes and... Ugh!
[Kate actually throws her hands up in the air, because she doesn't actually think she's going to get through to him with this.]
We all thought you were dead!
[And that's her voice breaking just a little bit, to her further frustration. She doesn't want to have this conversation with Davesprite listening in, but who the hell knows when Clint will grace her with his presence again.]
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[So he sidles back in, awkward, looking uncomfortable as anything while he gnaws on what is clearly an unboiled block of ramen noodles. He has dusted some of the seasoning packet over its mass, but it tastes a lot like sodium and cardboard all together.]
Hey, uh—
[Cough.]
I know this probably ain't the time? But for a dude who got on me about Bro so much, your kitchen sucks, Clint.
[Maybe he can diffuse this tension with something stupid. He hopes.]
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I'm not dead. You can't get rid of me that easily. [ A beat, and then he frowns. ] ... I'm sorry, Katie.
[ And then - Davesprite. There's a beat, where Clint looks up to see Davesprite just... chewing on a noodle block, to which Clint just tries to not laugh because what. Are you doing. That's not how you ramen. Not that Clint is surprised he doesn't know how. ]
I - uh. Didn't exactly have time to grocery shop while I was in snow hell, DS.
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Ugh, don't eat that. You'll probably get cancer or something.
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I wasn't raised to make noodles right. I do what I can.
[He glances back at them—the noodles, then Clint and Kate.]
So, everything's kind of complicated, right? And you're tired, and you're worried, and neither of you have really got the chance to sit the fuck down and learn everything, and that part with me didn't count because I only scratched the surface and joked about Clint's terrible taste in costumes. I'm sayin' both of you, you've got a lot of shit on your minds, right? We've been back like two days, maybe. It'll settle. I'll find furniture to push Clint off of if he keeps being dumb, but maybe for now we can just—sit down, order a pizza, talk a little, then sleep like the dead.
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I just want to put on sweatpants. [ He says, rubbing at his face. ] Maybe shave. Take a shower. Can you guys order pizza and I'll - I can talk about whatever you want me to talk about, Kate, promise. DS will help.
[ Sorry, bro, he's enlisting you. ]
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[Fine, that's a compromise, even if she's still a little huffy.]
Go take a shower. You look like a lumberjack.
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[And with Kate giving in, he pops a thumbs up to Clint.]
Go wash the Alaska off, dude.
[He already took a good, long shower himself earlier. For now... He looks at the noodles again, then goes to find the trash to dump them in. This was a mistake.]
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Eventually he gets out. He puts on clean clothes, and drags himself down the stairs. Slowly. He looks a hell of a lot better, but he's still kind of haggard, definitely thinner than he used to be. His movements carry kind of sickly tired that comes from a remembered chronic pain and from malnutrition. Life sucked in Norfinbury.
He's glad to be home. ]
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Kate's taking pineapple herself, trying to ignore how different Clint looks and moves as she hands Davesprite a plate.]
Don't let Clint eat all of it, because he totally will.
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[He loads a couple slices of meat lover's onto his plate. Maybe he will eat one with a vegetable on it, too, if they bug him enough, but right now he wants to indulge.]
[Seeing Clint return, though, he gives him a once-over and nods.]
Looking better. Still crap, but better. We'll get there.
[He didn't get hit with pain the same way Clint did, but Norfinbury took its toll regardless. Floating makes the state of himself easier to work around.]
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Davesprite tells him he looks like crap, and Clint snorts, dropping down heavily on a bar stool. He's still kind of marveling at the fact that he can get up and hold things without wanting to die inside, it's - great. Clint takes like half a pizza for himself, raising his eyebrows at Kate like he's daring her to stop him. ]
I'm gonna eat all this pizza because I paid for it. [ He's teasing. ] DS is right, though, we just came from a place where frozen fruit was a delicacy. [ A beat, and then offhand at Davesprite: ] Nothing left over from the town, right? None of the side-effects?
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She's feeling out of the loop here already, though, so she looks between them as she feeds Lucky a bit of pineapple. Davesprite mentioned the side-effects, but he didn't exactly go into detail, so this is where Kate begins her endless grilling.]
What side-effects? You said they were from nanomachines, but... [She waves a hand vaguely. That doesn't tell her much.]
I want to give him obsession for collecting eggs someday you're welcome
[Once he's chewed thoroughly and swallowed, though—]
I said the nanomachines were because of the radiation, right? But they also poisoned us in ways that affected our brains somehow. So, if you mean have I stopped feeling like my dead Bro is following me through locked doors and creeping up in the ceilings and shit, yeah, that's gone. But you might want to get me a pack of Easter eggs to see if I'm still obsessed with those.
[He might just sit on them anyway. Bird instincts, man. The crow he was made with wasn't very smart.]
oh my god laughs
I think I've actually got a package of those in my closet. [ Clint says thoughtfully. He'd bought them for Simone's kids a while back. As for the rest of it, he gives Davesprite a thumbs up. Which he couldn't do in Norfinbury. ]
I can move without feeling like tiny gremlins are biting all of my joints and beating up my bones with hammers so - yeah, looks like it's gone. [ He sounds so, so relieved. Clint glances at Kate. ] Nanomachines came with terrible side effects, who would've guessed. They're not in my blood anymore, though. SHIELD checked.
DAVESPRITE PLS
Did you figure out who brought you there and why? Are you both okay?
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[But is he okay?]
I'm not dead or an anomaly or brainfucked by degrading nanowhatever. Get me some Flinstones vitamins and teach me how a kitchen is supposed to work, and I'll probably kick malnutrition's ass pretty quick.
[He'll let Clint handle the who and why, for however much answer they got to that. Instead he asks him his own question.]
D'you think SHIELD could check mine too? Though they probably would want to anyway. Not every day you get an orange bird guy with glowstick blood from an alternate dead universe showing up.
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It'll be even better once we show DS what goes in a fridge. [ It's not swords. Surprise! Clint wipes the grease on his hands on his sweatpants like an animal and rests a hand on Kate's forearm. ] I accidentally adopted him, so now you gotta help me raise him.
[ He's teasing! Mostly. Please help. To Davesprite: ] Yeah. Part of the deal for me getting to go home was me bringing you in to make sure you're all good to go. I already said I'm responsible for you so they're not gonna throw a fit. Probably.
You can meet everybody else, too. Cap's gonna want to give you an inspiring speech or something.
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[Joking is fine. She can do joking. She's not really touching her pizza, though.]
I am sorry for this boy
[Media told him some things, but not everything. As for Kate?]
Of course you're not adopting me. I only just met you and you're not old enough to be my hot mom. Any mom. You're a hot non-mom. Clint, steal her pizza she's not eating it and pineapple is for sad people.
[He grabs a couple more slices of whatever non-befruited food punishment is left and floats up to perch on top of the fridge. Around a mouthful of cheesy bread dinner:]
Hey, tell me about Cap. [He swallows.] And how many times do you think I'll have to explain to them about Sburb?
noogies him
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